Category Archives: Uncategorized

playing for the same team

I got a text Thursday night during dinner from one of the hockey leagues I play with asking  if I could play in a game that night at 10:00PM.  These kinds of (usually last minute) requests are common.  Goalies are … Continue reading

Posted in everyday stuff, no man's land, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

restless equanimity

I wish I could say I spent the time between being prescribed testosterone and actually getting the testosterone in some kind of humble, mindful, contemplative, equanimity.  I didn’t.  I was a walking bag of anxious irritation.  Hey, I’m nothing if not consistent. … Continue reading

Posted in feelings, in the spiritual realm, Uncategorized | 5 Comments

response and responsibility

I often know when something is not going to end well, when an idea, even in it’s germinating state, is not a good one.   We all do.  Those are the moments when my inner voice urgently entreats, “no good can … Continue reading

Posted in family of origin, feelings, Uncategorized | 2 Comments

neither fish nor fowl

I will cut to the chase.  I have come to the conclusion that I am attempting to live above my station.  And I am just realizing that that is where too many of my troubles stem from. I just finished reading … Continue reading

Posted in family of origin, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

the actual fuck

  Well that didn’t go at all as planned. I am both at a loss for words and flooded with them.  I have colloquy gushing from every pore and orifice in my body, clogging my brain and choking my heart.  And … Continue reading

Posted in feelings, Uncategorized | 9 Comments

unreality

Reality is a relative term.  Clearly everyone has their own, and we can only hope that the Venn diagrams of life’s realities overlap enough, or at least to some extent, to allow us to live peacefully with one another.  I … Continue reading

Posted in feelings, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

more than meets the eye

I feel a little embarrassed sharing this story, but for some reason I feel compelled to share it anyway:  We recently purchased a new living room couch.  Our old behemoth was a hand-me-down from a friend, a hundred years old … Continue reading

Posted in everyday stuff, feelings, no man's land, Uncategorized | 2 Comments

words

Words, usually playful and expressive, rolling off my tongue in intricate and eloquent phrases, escape me right now.  I don’t know what to say.  I have no words.  And yet, I can’t not say anything.  I can’t not acknowledge the attack … Continue reading

Posted in feelings, Uncategorized | 4 Comments

socks

Well, yesterday was my brother’s birthday.  Exactly one year ago that I went looking for him and found him.  On the street.  I have been in contact with him fairly regularly this whole year.  A burden and a blessing.  In that … Continue reading

Posted in brother's keeper, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

everywhere these days

What an interesting and yet somehow odd week.  A weird dichotomy of feeling both settled and unsettled.  I’ve had lovely times with my children.  Out in the garden, planting vegetables and laughing over sprayed water and spilled soil.  I’ve basked … Continue reading

Posted in no man's land, Uncategorized | Leave a comment