Category Archives: my own worst enemy

passing on the past

A person’s past may not define them in any current moment, but it certainly had a hand in shaping them.  The good, the bad and the ugly all began as signposts on the roads not taken, as well as the … Continue reading

Posted in everyday stuff, feelings, my own worst enemy | Leave a comment

enemy mine

Ever since reading Hillbilly Elegy something has been niggling at me.  It isn’t that I related to the poverty, misery or even the daily life situations of the hillbillies in Appalachia.  What I related to and what bothered me was … Continue reading

Posted in family of origin, feelings, my own worst enemy, relationship | 3 Comments

happy birthday kaleidoscope life!

I’ve had Leslie Gore singing in my head…. “It’s my body and I’ll cry if I want to…”  I know it’s “party” not “body”.  “You would cry too if it happened to you” though.  Which may be an obscure reference to … Continue reading

Posted in my own worst enemy, no man's land | 5 Comments

shame on me

Let’s begin with a big fat sigh.  I need to focus.  Focus on good things, positive things, important things.  There is a lot in my life that I am competent at.  I have accomplishments and achievements worthy of satisfaction.  Some … Continue reading

Posted in everyday stuff, my own worst enemy, parenting | 4 Comments

perception is 9/10 of the law

The more I accept, acknowledge, name, and validate me, the more me I am.  Or something like that.  It’s been a while since I have done anything intentional or purposeful to hide the fact that I am transgender.  I’m dressing (not … Continue reading

Posted in my own worst enemy, no man's land | 4 Comments

up the down staircase

  Well well well, here we are again, like a bad penny always turning up, the circuitous path that corkscrews constantly, always beginning and ending in the same place, my very own ouroboros.  If I had a coat of arms, … Continue reading

Posted in my own worst enemy, no man's land | 7 Comments

listen, do you want to know a secret? do you promise not to tell?

  Well well well.  Here I am on the other side of Thanksgiving and the whirlwind celebrations in St. Louis.  I think it all went fairly well.  In no small part thanks to Valerie 🙂   I even think there … Continue reading

Posted in my own worst enemy, no man's land | 9 Comments

noticeable changes and the panic attack that won’t end

What a jumbled post this is.  This post that is taking me days and weeks and now into months to formulate.  I began this blog on my birthday 4 years ago.  4 years ago when I had just learned the … Continue reading

Posted in feelings, my own worst enemy, no man's land | 4 Comments

if she knew what she wants

I wish I had a clear view of the future.  To be honest, some days I wish I had a clear view of the present.  I have never hidden (nor been ashamed of) the fact that I love the 80s. … Continue reading

Posted in my own worst enemy, no man's land | 5 Comments

T for me?

I’m slipping back into a dysphoric depression that I don’t want to be in.  Which is better, I guess, than being in one and not caring.  I’ve spent my life being told everything about me is wrong.  And everything I … Continue reading

Posted in my own worst enemy, no man's land | 7 Comments