Category Archives: feelings

saw her standing there – another long one

My mother has lived 1500 miles away for over 20 years.  She comes to Boston once a year, a few weeks in the summer, and stays too far away to be convenient for visits.  Convenience being a relative term of … Continue reading

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half-hearted-half-measures

“Don’t do it.  Don’t do it.  Do NOT hit the reply button.  Hali, just don’t.” the little voice whispers inside my head as I scroll through Facebook and see random Trump-sympathizers’ comments.  The cacoethes is familiar.  The urge to explain … Continue reading

Posted in everyday stuff, feelings, no man's land | Leave a comment

part of me

I’m sitting with some depression right now.  Sometimes I say I’m *struggling with*.  But in my current state, I am simply sitting with it, watching, observing it.  And I’m not completely sure whether it is dulling my mind or actually … Continue reading

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brotherly space

The latest installment of *The Peter Chronicles*: I haven’t had contact with my brother for several months now.  As much my doing as his.  Sometimes I just need a break from the insanity.  Sometimes I just can’t tolerate hearing the … Continue reading

Posted in brother's keeper, feelings | 2 Comments

not a hater

Someone made a comment recently that took me aback.  After reading something in my blog he said, “Wow, sounds like you really hate your mother.”  It bothered me, for a few reasons.  Number one, that simple summary somehow trivializes the … Continue reading

Posted in family of origin, feelings | 1 Comment

the cat is out of the bag

Well, well, well.  All the best-laid-plans and well-kept-secrets.  I believe there is a Yiddish expression that sums it up nicely – “man tracht un Gott lacht” – “man plans, and God laughs”-  meaning, “Despite our most careful planning, the road … Continue reading

Posted in family of origin, feelings, no man's land | 1 Comment

of role models and athletics

Both my high school gym teachers died within the last year or so.  Within a year or so of one another.  I was surprised to learn from their obituaries that they were each only in their early to mid 70s.  … Continue reading

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passing on the past

A person’s past may not define them in any current moment, but it certainly had a hand in shaping them.  The good, the bad and the ugly all began as signposts on the roads not taken, as well as the … Continue reading

Posted in everyday stuff, feelings, my own worst enemy | Leave a comment

deal with the devil

I like music as much as the next guy, maybe even a little bit more.  I have often wished I had more musical talent.  And truthfully, I’m not sure whether I *have* the talent or not.  It’s more that I’m … Continue reading

Posted in blessings, feelings, no man's land | 2 Comments

honest mistakes

Well, we made our annual pilgrimage to St. Louis for Thanksgiving this year.  I was more anxious than usual because of being on testosterone and not knowing what, if anything, Emily’s family members might notice.  Now, I say more anxious … Continue reading

Posted in feelings, no man's land | 3 Comments