Anne Lamott, in her book “Help Thanks Wow” says, “…everything falls apart. We are hurt beyond any reasonable chance of healing. We are haunted by our failures and mortality. And yet the world keeps on spinning, and in our grief, rage and fear a few people keep on loving us and showing up.” Yeah, she’s got that right. I can’t imagine how I would have fared through this last week or so if it weren’t for those steadfast, loyal, amazing friends who kept on loving me and kept on, well… showing up. Thank you. You know who you are. I can’t imagine that you really know how deeply I needed, how much I appreciate all the love, comfort, support and laughter you’ve offered. I’m trying not to worry too much about whether I deserve it and just letting myself be buoyed by it. Nothing short of amazing. I’m sitting here on my new front porch, in my dad’s old director’s chair, with my feet on the railing, listening to birds chirp in the myriad trees that surround me. Apparently (and thankfully) my internet connection works through the screen door. And I’m basking in the beauty and imperfection all around me. The amazing love I have received in varied forms all week have astounded me and kept me on the right side of sanity. One day alone I received three cards in the mail. Suzanne’s: Two elderly people sitting at a table in what I can only imagine as a diner. One has a full set of dentures in her hand as she thrusts them in the face of the other and says, “do I have something in my teeth?” I literally laughed out loud. Hey, what are friends for?! But I digress.
In this most difficult week I had time with both Tracy and my therapist (believe it or not, they are separate people… even though they clearly share notes). Those meetings were deeply gratifying, thought-provoking and balm for my soul. I also realized that even in the arduousness of the week that had me feeling so beaten up and beaten down, there were many bright spots. That sanguine optimism arises and appears in both the old reliable and the new potential. Within 24 hours of living in this house no fewer than 6 neighbors came by to introduce themselves. Two brought baked goods. There are 6 girls between 10 and 14, and just as many between 2 and 5. All within our little block. Note to self: So much promise, so much opportunity… all right in front of you should you choose to see it and reach out.