no big deal

I have pink eye.  Nina thinks this is fantastic.  Her favorite color is pink.  She wonders aloud and repeatedly if she could get pink eye? Or pink ears? Or pink nose? Or pink hair.  Too bad mommie, you didn’t get blue eye because blue is your color.  Hmmm.  Like so many things, the conjunctivitis is not the end of the world.  I’m fairly certain I will survive it (I cannot guarantee I will not whine).  It is, however, an inconvenience.  My eyes are burning, itching, cloudy, goopy.  But again, I’m pretty sure I’ll live.

Start Where You Are continues to remind me, as the first slogan says, to regard all dharma as dreams.  In other words, the flitting story-lines of life, the things that get me riled up or bummed out, are as wisps of smoke, dreams, impermanent, ever-changing, ephemeral, temporary, transient.  Let them go, she says.  But oh how I love to grasp!  The roller-coaster of emotions that suck me in over the seeming minutia of daily life are so compelling.  Letting go and being present without getting consumed seems so, well, so difficult, so challenging, so much less exciting than getting caught up in the whirlwind.

boston1

I am a proud and devoted life-long Bostonian.  I was in attendance at the running of the Boston Marathon every year until I became an old fuddy-duddy who couldn’t deal with the crowds.  Certainly the bomb blasts shook me yesterday.  Past marathons flashed through my mind in a kaleidoscope of images, sounds and sensations.  All pleasant.  Now what?

The world has gone crazy.  People are hysterical.  The sights and sounds and stories are played and replayed on the internet, televisions, computers and even phones.  Engineered to elicit reaction.  You can’t get away from the cacophony of strong emotions oozing, pouring, spilling.  So much anger, confusion, sadness.  WWPD?  What would Pema say?

I obviously can’t speak for Ani Pema, but I can say that having studied her teachings I can acknowledge that yesterday’s event and the public response to it are story-line.  It isn’t that this tragedy is “no big deal”.  That’s not at all what I’m saying.  I’m simply saying I’m trying to take stock.  What is going on for me this moment?  I am not directly affected by what happened yesterday.  Thank God.  I won’t sensationalize someone else’s tragedy by having an emotional response to it that makes it about me.  What I can (and will) do is to try to counteract the negative energy in the Universe by sending out as much positive energy as I can.  I can pray.  I can send love and hope and prayers to those who were affected.  I can treat those around me with kindness and generosity.  Actually, in all honesty, it would do me a world of good to take a break from the obsessive microscopic focus on myself for a change.  And yeah, the pink-eye is seriously no big deal.

May all beings everywhere be peaceful.  May all beings everywhere be happy.  May all beings everywhere be well.  May all beings everywhere be safe.  May all beings everywhere be free from suffering.

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About halitentwo

i am. god is. we are. as soon as i write something about me i change, am different, evolving. i am trans. i am a parent. i am a partner. i am a human. i am attempting to live a well-lived life in the spaces in between, beyond definition, fluid, dynamic, omnifarious and always changing. hopefully growing.
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