craft show success – or, to-do list frenzy

A great success!  I’m feeling very proud of myself.  That sublime delight generally reserved for the under 5 year old set.  One of the reasons I’m feeling so giddy is that the great success did not come without its share of snafus, snags and glitches.  Beginning with arriving to the show site and lugging all of my boxes into the building to find a literally empty space.  As in, no table to display my wares.  Apparently, it was all there in black and white in the email.  Bring your own table.  Hmmm…. did that mean I was supposed to bring my own table?  Um, yeah.  So my first panic took place around 7:15am.  I had to use up my “sorry, it’s my first craft show” cache earlier than I’d planned.  But a nice young porter did a little reconnaissance and found me one.  So my first transaction ended up being his free bar of soap.  My set up was simple.  My soap wrapping party had been a success, if a lot of work, Friday night and the soap looked fabulous.  The craft fair itself was really a terrific venue.  100 vendors and lots of good cheer.  Of the over 200 bars and 9 scent options I offered, I came home with less than 60 bars – most of my sweet orange patchouli but none of my black raspberry.  Emily said it was because no one from the 70s showed up to buy the patchouli soap.  Funny.  All in all, an amazingly positive experience.

I didn’t let myself bask in the glory of accomplishment for too long though.  The craft show ended at 3:00 and I needed to be at the knitting store at 3:00 (see my problem?) for a sock knitting class I’d signed up for.  So, leaving Joita and friends to pack up the remaining soap, I raced across town to screech into my knitting class very nearly on time.                      

The sock-knitting class ended up being wonderful and a lot of fun.  And I am well on my way to beautiful (yet expensive) hand-made socks.  5 middle-aged, straight, white, suburban women and me.  And totally fun.  And let me tell you something, those broads have some creative curse-words!  But while I’m all gleeful and tickled with myself, I’m struck by two things.

One, I think I need to look at my seeming need to do do do, go go go.  Is it my inability to sit still or my need to fill time?  I get more done in 6 hours of my day off than most people do in an entire weekend.  And even with getting so much done, there are still items unchecked on my to-do list that I’d intended to do. Why do I push myself so much?  I am certainly aware of yesterday’s date.  November 17th.  The date that, two years ago, we received the phone call with Emily’s cancer diagnosis.  Yes, I wanted to keep busy.  Just remembering that day, that phone call, can leave me shaken two years later. Still, it isn’t so different than my other days where I book myself back to back to back.  What goes on for me? What’s up with the need to accomplish so much?

the other thing of note, as I was falling asleep last night I realized my trans-gender issues did not come into play at all all day.  I was treated no differently than anyone else at the craft fair by either crafters or customers.  I laughed and joked and was perfectly comfortable with everyone around me.  And while the differences I mentioned above about me and my sock knitting classmates were real, I was not set apart in any way by either me or them.  And a good time was had by all.

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About halitentwo

i am. god is. we are. as soon as i write something about me i change, am different, evolving. i am trans. i am a parent. i am a partner. i am a human. i am attempting to live a well-lived life in the spaces in between, beyond definition, fluid, dynamic, omnifarious and always changing. hopefully growing.
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