take 3

long and winding padAlready I’m stumped. I’ve written and deleted, as the title of the post clearly says, three times! And still I’m no closer to anything that even remotely resembles a blog post. I should have taking blogging 101. One day. I can’t fail the blogdown in one day!

You’d think my big goals list would have helped propel me, but not today. Today was sort of a fail in regards to that. I have come to the conclusion that I become a cranky jerk when I don’t get enough sleep. Last week in order to deal with Nina’s lack of full night sleeping, I simply went to bed when she did. But long term that just won’t work. Especially now that I’ve got this monkey on my back (my blog dependency). So last night I went to bed around 10:00 and read for a bit. The problem is that Nina went to bed at 8:00 and by midnight she was ready for a little play time. I’m quite sure at this point, that Nina is a reincarnated army general. She snaps awake and upright all in the same second and starts shooting orders. “I’m awake! Milk! Coffee! Come get me!” NOW. Ferber retired just in time to maintain a winning record I’d say. So much for my goals of involved parenting and tender interactions with my spouse. By 3:00am I was snapping and growling at both of them, resembling a bear at a bear-baiting and holding a pillow over my head. By 5:00am when my wife went in to get the little bundle of joy, she (the joyful bundle, not the wife) stormed into our room, swinging the door hard, banging it into and shattering the full length mirror. Into at least a gazillion pieces of tiny shards of flaked glass.  Good Morning!

I was supposed to write about blessings today. How Jews are encouraged to say 100 blessings each day. I wasn’t actually thinking about that as I wiped the floor with a wet paper towel on my hands and knees though. In the meantime, my ex was texting me repeatedly that the child we share, who was at her house, was sick and she needed me to do something about it. An appropriate blessing hasn’t been written for the state of affairs in my bedroom this morning.

I did pull myself out somewhat. My massive headache and earache notwithstanding. And I did call to sign up for the Haitian Creole class. I’m all signed up. Hey, there’s a blessing. And me and my two girls got to spend a relatively quiet afternoon in snuggies together. We even baked bread. Well, ok, we measured ingredients and dropped them in order into the bread maker and it made bread. And there is a blessing to say about bread.

More tomorrow.

 

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About halitentwo

i am. god is. we are. as soon as i write something about me i change, am different, evolving. i am trans. i am a parent. i am a partner. i am a human. i am attempting to live a well-lived life in the spaces in between, beyond definition, fluid, dynamic, omnifarious and always changing. hopefully growing.
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One Response to take 3

  1. Emily says:

    you are the bomb. and you are mine.

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